Productivity > Negativity

It's a boring day, and I had nothing much to do. I tried writing a blog for my Multiply account, but I wasn't able to finish that. I might've been so bored that I opened up my Friendster account for the first time in over a month. My friendster account seems to be nothing more than a placeholder of my existence there. I hardly use it, and I don't update it anymore. I use Multiply for basically everything that I could use Friendster for.

 

So, enough with that and onto Friendster. I just got a couple of friend requests from former teammates and aptly processed them on their way. I checked out some of my friends' profiles and stumbled into one that boggled my mind juuuuuuust a little bit mainly because I've known this person quite well and she seems to be a very bitter person who seem to never get over the negativity in her past. She never gets tired of talking about her ex, her dad's mistress, how everything bad seems to come her way and her never ending obsession with resigning because she feels she's not being treated right. I was in her Friendster profile, just roaming around when I read this:

 

"I don't want to be alone. I want to be surrounded by happy people."

 

Isn't it ironic that a person who doesn't want to be alone, and wants to be surrounded by happy people is such a negative grouch? It's like asking for respect but not giving it yourself. It cannot be achieved by wishing ill will to other people, that much is for sure. Logic and positivity doesn't work with this person, that much I can assure you. One could not draw happiness [and in effect, happy people] in one's life by being so negative. It reeks of a huge ego, and being self-centered.

 

I liked this person for a time, and at first I was amused with her attitude. Straight to the point. However, she's too darn straight and pessimistic with everything. It's one thing to wish the death of another human being, when you are kidding around, and a completely different thing to really want it done. I tried my hardest and I tried to pull out all the stops to make her feel special and happy, but I guess that doesn't work with everyone. It doesn't mean that I gave up on the person, it is just that I don't want to do something for someone who doesn't want me around or is seemingly contented with the negativity. Hey, if it floats their boat, then so be it.

 

So, I'll opt to spend my efforts elsewhere, where it would be more productive, and I could think of myself for a change. I worry that for the past few months or so, I've gone out of my way for everyone and their dog to make them happy. I do not regret anything I've done because for the most part, it has turned out well and I'm also happy as a result. This person just made me realize how thin I may be spreading myself. I just want to focus on myself a little more this go-round. I don't want to leave myself behind and just always sacrifice for others. I may be a good person, but I'm no saint, either.