On Being Stood Up

For the last week or so, I've asked two girls out for a date. One is my bestest friend (I know, don't lecture me on how exaggerated the term "bestest" is, but it is a term of endearment) and the other is my former agent, who I'm still trying to understand what she is to me and what I am to her, really. Guess what, I didn't have any dates. None. Zilch. Zero. Not having a date was not the issue. Despite the fact that they agreed beforehand about it. Yes, I got stood up.

First, there was Cheng who was asking me what time I normally take my lunch. I told her I took it at around 3AM, but apparently it didn't work with her schedule, so we agreed to meet up after her shift [8AM, three hours after mine ends] and have breakfast together. We had it set down and we were constantly checking up on each other through email and instant messaging [one of the few perks I truly enjoy as part of the support group]. After my shift ended, she was asking as to what I'll be doing to pass the time. I told her I'll be sleeping for a bit. We agreed to it. She gave me a heads up that she didn't have her phone at the time and we'd have to communicate via our respective Messengers again. Fine, no problem. I slept until 7:30AM, giving me a bit of a headstart. I logged in again, but poof. She's gone from the messenger and I'm left waiting for almost an hour without any response. All I got the next day was a sappy explanation saying that she went straight home at 8AM. She didn't even inform me of any change of plans or apologized for any miscommunication. I don't want to get mad at her. I'm not sure if she forgot [but I mean... really?], but this is the second time that I got left up in the air on my own. The first time, she said she fell asleep in the office. Yeah. Kinda sucks, no?

Then there was Tintin. It was my day off and she had her shift in the office. I contacted her the day before asking if she wanted to have lunch with me after her shift, so that it wouldn't have any conflict with her schedule. She agreed. Next day came, and when I told her of the time, she just said she'd rather just sleep because she's feeling.. sleepy. Uhm, ok. So, I spent another day moping around at home with nothing to do aside from browsing the internet, and running around the compound for no apparent reason [It couldn't be exercise].

I feel dejected this week because of these developments. It seems that the people I like tend to avoid me, maybe its just me but then again, who can blame me? I've gone through a lot of things like this before but it still stings everytime it happens. Did I do something? Said anything? Yes, it sucks. I am upset because it seems that I'm being avoided. I feel hurt. I know that this paragraph is so exaggeratedly useless because I started ragging and ranting already. I already have enough concerns with my current position and team because of the virtual nosebleed sessions I get when I'm supporting them, and this is an unwanted add-on. So, there. I said it. I'm upset, though I never told both of them anything about it.

I took comfort from my superfriends Lyn and Diane. They are like my voices of reason, providing rationale in the seemingly messed up situations I get myself into. They're like my pillows on each side of my bed: they keep me from falling down. Though if I drool on either one of them, I'll probably get hurt. ^_^ V. I resolved myself not to worry about those things anymore because it's done, and in the past. Things could have gone a lot better, but there's no crying over spilled milk. I should just clean up whatever mess I have, and just take it from there.

Being stood up has been a truly humbling experience for me. It seemed that things were going my way for a little while, then this brings me crashing back down to Earth in an instant. Come to think of it, its not just the thought of being stood up that stings, it's also the thought that the people who you thought would come through for you would be the ones to leave you up in the air, without any real reason. It's one thing to be told of what would happen, its another thing to just be left waiting and moping. Then again, I hope its just me.